Not enough tea to function

Not enough tea to function

memewhore:

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tomvorikandharry:

i’m jewish and two of my closest friends are a muslim woman and a christian woman, and today we decided that this weekend would be a more opportune time of year than the month of december to say “happy holidays” since it’s good friday and easter sunday, passover, and ramadan all happening on one weekend, rather than like. hanukkah, christmas, kwanzaa, new year’s, etc. happening roughly over the course of 4-6 weeks. so. happy holidays to anyone celebrating this weekend :)

(via floragraysteel)

funnytwittertweets:

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(via official-german-translationen)

thegaymertrainer:

thenatsdorf:

“Are you kidding me with this?”

So I bought this and it is THE LOUDEST THING EVER

My cats would play with it if it wasn’t sounding like a jet engine the whole time

catasters:

monarcailluminata:

‘oh how i wish i was in italy living in one bedroom apartment drinking wine of the balcony’ girl you’re from new york. you would literally die in the line at poste italiane

pictures-of-dogs:

this is tonight’s mood, folks

(via queerytales)

funnytwittertweets:

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(via angstbotfic)

10thingsihateabout-all-yall:

erytria:

wittyusername97:

rpluvsyj:

i-am-the-karkat-media-worldwide:

musicalhell:

systlin:

totohoy:

systlin:

kittyknowsthings:

thesylverlining:

the-macra:

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

I mean

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

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Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~”
Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

(via yaminoendo)

ima-fuckingt4ble:

loonyloopylisa:

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Originally posted by varrucasalt

She loves it!!

(via floragraysteel)